Thursday, April 17, 2014

With All The Time I Have

Apart from maybe 22 years ago when I was still living in Beijing, I have not lived in such close proximity to school or work. It used to take me hours commuting to work, but now, minutes. I barely know what to do with myself given all the extra time... I have been practicing my cooking skills. It's kind of ironic that I have definitely been much more Martha Stewart-ish since being here. By the way things are going, I will be taking up knitting soon... Oh and maybe quilting! :P


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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Kensington Kensington

One of the biggest differences between Toronto and Ottawa is the different variety of people leading a variety of lifestyles. Ottawa is very cookie cutter. Everyone knows exactly what they have to achieve by ages 25, 30, 35..... a government job, a car, a townhouse, a marriage, a child, then a single house in the suburbs, another child and a minivan.

In this city, you can be anyone that you want to be and pursue any type of lifestyle. It's too early to decide. I've been here for 2 whole weeks.... And still taking it in day by day and enjoying every moment! 

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Trying to Live Without Regrets

I read an article a few months back about a nurse who summarized the top 5 life regrets that she has heard from her dying patients.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

It spoke volumes to me... I bought myself a ticket and ended up in Toronto. A part of me is scared shitless. I have no idea what the future holds... but here I am... taking it in day by day. I decided, I risked, I lost, I cried, I left... everything and everyone that I know and love. But I gain, I smile, I'm grateful, I'm happy... hopefully everyday in my future. 

XOXO  Monica

Saturday, March 29, 2014

What's meant to be will always find a way


I have come to realize in the past few days that timing in life is everything. It can bring you the happiest surprises, but it can also be so bittersweet. Sometimes, just when you think you have all your shit together, life throws you the biggest curveball and messes up your entire mind. It makes you question all of your beliefs, wants, hopes and dreams. 

Maybe... what I have to keep telling myself over and over again until I believe it is that what's meant to be will always find a way.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

My 2013


I have experienced and learned so many things about myself, about life, about relationships and about friendships this year that it makes the last 27 years of my life seem like a complete waste of time. First and foremost, I was blessed with so many amazing adventures. I feel like I travelled the world. And these experiences have made me realize how truly lucky I am with all the cards that I have been dealt with in 2013. 

The most valuable lesson I learned this year was the importance of working on my relationships. I am not proud to admit that I have never ever ever "worked" on any of my relationships before... with friends, with family or with significant others. I took all my relationships for granted and thought that they would just stay the same. I would rarely call or text my parents to ask how their day was going. I would rarely go out of my way to do something nice for a friend. I just couldn't really be bothered. In previous romantic relationships, I would simply move on when things became tough or lost the spark. There was very little effort and work involved. For as long as I can remember, I've lived in a bubble which pretty much consisted of me, me and only me. I want to say I'm sorry to all the people that I have hurt along the way. 

This year, I have also identified the causes and reasons to all of these problems... I have made efforts to try to confront and reconcile them... but I must face the reality that there are some things that will have to be left alone. As long as I have recognized my own issues, that's good enough. I can improve and I have been improving for the past year. And it's because of this that I have been blessed with a couple of amazing amazing amazing new people in my life whom I love with all my heart. Thank you for all the lessons that you guys have taught me and all the love that you have guys have given me. 

2013 has continuously made me stronger as a person. While I used to hide from any form of confrontation, I now completely embrace them. Some forms of confrontations, although immature, can be totally exhilarating... like the other day when it was absolutely mandatory for me to roll down my car windows and yell repeated profanities to a stranger who gave me a rude look. Not my proudest moment, but I will never stand for BS again, never let people walk all over me, and I will always fight and do the same for my loved ones. 

On a lighter note, I have discovered many new loves this year that I simply cannot live without like cooking, photography, a cup (or more like three cups a day) of strong coffee, a tinted lipgloss and my new jade necklace! I have also realized that, even at the extremely old age of 28, I am still full of ambitions... for my career, to learn, and just to have a happier life overall. I don't want to settle. I hope the drive and the passion that I have today will also remain a part of me.

I am so excited to think about all the wonderful things that I have planned for 2014. I believe in some superstitions... and if my left eye twitching so much as I write this entry is any indication as to how my year will turn out, then I think all my dreams will come true. I know they will all come true! 

XOXO  Monica